By Dale St. Marthe
Folks around the web stay tickling us. Incase you missed it…
1. Trump Failed Bigly Again.
— Travon Free (@Travon) March 24, 2017
I feel like this year is a divine lesson, a divine lesson that tests everybody and I’m ’bout to walk out this classroom if Trump doesn’t grow up.
The main reason why Trump’s American Health Care Act of 2017 flopped is because the Republicans are not together. They weren’t even together during Obama’s presidency either, in which even during that time they were trying to repeal Obamacare. And of course his supporters did not take it lightly that something so essential to some of their lives has the possibility of being taken away. The majority of Americans want Obamacare fixed in actuality – they want lower premiums, more predictability and Medicaid expansion. However, completely removing a health plan that was difficult to create and pass will disrupt the economy and reduce American moral by a lot. The poor whites who voted for him need healthcare too, who knew? But this image though. The crying Michael Jordan meme is a classic. On top of that, this is Michael’s head on top of Paul Ryan, House Speaker, doing the dab. A sad dab, it’s so self-mocking. Like you are so used to failing that all you can do is feign happiness. But isn’t it also so divinely vindictive that right after we get a black man who was thought to be unfit for the job, we get an absolute buffoon who is trying desperately to do anything impactful and messing things up in the process? Maybe I’m just in one of the 7 stages of grief…
2. And on the third year Kendrick rose from the dead
Kendrick Lamar coming back to bless the masses like pic.twitter.com/1Up0DTjSqR
— Kendrick Draco Lamar (@cjoker10) March 23, 2017
I did not know how much I wanted this to happen until I heard about it. Kendrick Lamar, King Kendrick, K.Dot, King Dot if you will, released a track on March 23rd. If that person in the meme is indeed Kendrick because I have no idea, he deserves to be talked about in such superlatives. 2 years after his magnum opus “To Pimp a Butterfly” he drops “The Heart Part IV,” and declares in it “Y’all got till April the 7th to get ya’ll shit together,” which means he’s going to drop an album, or maybe even a playlist on April 7th. He does this in the midst of the Drake hype, leading some to think that the shots fired in this song was directed at Drake. Going past that, as the picture implies the song was a miracle. It starts off with a smooth soul beat where Kendrick sternly says “Don’t tell a lie on me, I won’t tell the truth bout you.” It transitions to a beat with heavy bass that sounds like some sort of Law and Order interrogation background music. After that, a couple of trap-flavored percussion instruments transform the song into a murderous hip-hop song here he deconstructs the state of America and the state of Hip-Hop.
Kendrick Lamar is great not only because he is socially conscious, but the amount of artistic effort he puts into his music turns each song into a piece deserving of a pedestal. He genuinely makes art.
— Michonne Grimes (@tammie_grier) March 28, 2017
When Sean Spicer and Bill O’Reilly Hannibal Lecter lookin ass decided to demean Representative Maxine waters and White House Correspondent April Ryan, black twitter showed their support for black women at work. Many anecdotes and images were shared depicting the life of black women in corporate America, or as we know it; the life of an Urban Chameleon. During Fox & Friends, O’Reilly watched a clip of Waters, who was saying on the House floor that criticism of the president was patriotic. “We fight against this president and we point out how dangerous he is,” Waters said. “…We’re fighting for democracy. We’re fighting for America. We’re saying to those who say they’re patriotic, but they turn a blind eye to the destruction he is about to cause to this country. You are not nearly as patriotic as we are.” Instead of saying anything intelligent, O’Reilly decided to make fun of her hair, saying he was distracted by it and comparing it to a “James Brown wig.” Juvenile, childish, that was a response someone who was losing an argument would use. This 67 year old man used a logical fallacy, an ad Hominem, on national TV. Amazing. Everybody who participated in the #BlackWomenAtWork hashtag shared similar experiences in their own lives such as; being seen as intimidating instead of confident, being mistaken for a person of lower rank in a corporate hierarchy, hiring staff being surprised at verbosity, and so on.
Y’all know what the deal is. The struggle of black women at work is the struggle of an Urban Chameleon. This is just an instance where the ignorance was not behind closed doors.
4. UberBae, a story that will Lyft you off your couch
So I drive for uber why I just pick this girl up and drop her off to a dick appointment and the dick appointment was my mans house 🙃
— Msixelaa (@Msixelaa) March 27, 2017
Isn’t it beautiful how you can just put your entire business on the internet, screenshots and all, and make it on Twitter’s trending?
Black Twitter tuned into Bre’s Twitter story like it was the next season of Empire.
In a compilation of about 35 tweets including photos, screenshots, and memes,@Msixelaa took us all on an Uber ride through a hurricane of an event. Things get stolen, people get beat up, there’s a love triangle somewhere in there. You would have thought this was Fast and Furious. If you like drama and want to read the whole thing check it out here.
5. Mike Pence, scared of women.
mike pence after dining in the presence of a woman who is not his wife pic.twitter.com/H2F5Q08Wdh
— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) March 30, 2017
With all the dumb immature shit Trump does, often we overlook the people in his administration. Two days ago the Washington Post ran a profile on Mr. and Mrs Pence. One sentence from the article has ignited a heated discussion: “In 2002, Mike Pence told the Hill that he never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and that he won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side, either.”
Unearthed from the archives, we see that yes indeed our government leader’s hold some weird values. On one hand we have a man who holds women at a very low stature, and another one that sees them as higher being with the power to seduce him without him being able to resist. At Twitter is livid about the new find. Most of the arguments in support of his choice are that of course he has the freedom to conduct his marriage however he wants with consent of his wife. Also, that putting oneself in a position to avoid the possibility of cheating is a wise course of action.
The arguments questioning his decision all center around a rightful feminist ideal. Why can’t Pence look past the fact that they are women in a business sense? Is he not responsible enough to control himself?
Many of his supporters bring up the numerous scandals that have happened in the past, such as the case of Anthony Wiener. But is it really unreasonable to expect so much from our Vice President? Someone who supports a pussy grabber must have a twisted view of women. This also bring up the subject of religion, a subject I feel has been largely ignored. Mike Pence upholds fundamental Christian values, many of which do not align with a social justice agenda. He has a history of being opposed to gay rights, and now we see that he holds women in a different light. Will his conservative Christian views get in the way of reasonable legislation and a reasonable term? Only God can tell right now.
Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/446282/mike-pence-wants-protect-his-marriage-good-him
6. Black Twitter loves babies, especially celebrity babies
“yo you gotta hear this beat ASAHD made for you” pic.twitter.com/PgvAVZJ88v
— 〽️ (@teamsavg) March 24, 2017
DJ Khaled is such a curious character that he would feature his 4 month old on someone else’s track.
There was a surge of memes about DJ Khaled’s son Asahd as Dj Khaled started posting on Asahd’s Instagram. He would roleplay as his son of course. A lot of them are endearing, with Dj Khaled showing his love for his son, through his son. There are pictures of Asahd on a piano, at numerous events, and at a concert with his father. DJ Khaled even said on Jimmy Kimmel that he would use his son as a sort of a barometer for his catchy phrases.
A lot of the humor stems from how eccentric DJ Khaled is, especially about music. Would he impose some sort of music career on his son? Will we hear “Asahd on the beat” on his next album? Only time will tell.
Khaled: Asahd we going to Disneyland!
Khaled: I’m playing we going to the studio you got tracks to produce pic.twitter.com/n4xuJwNemE
— Shafeeq Younus (@Y2SHAF) March 26, 2017
The other meme didn’t have Asahd in it. So here is…another one.
7. #JerseyLivesMatter AM-iright?
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) March 20, 2017
It seems pitiful sometimes when police say they couldn’t find somebody as if criminals are becoming extremely intelligent.
To be quite honest this is a great opportunity to mention that Tom Brady had a “Make America Great Again” hat in his locker and supports Trump. I’m not even a football fan, but this twitter user senses the racism too, because he is referring directly to the situation that happened in DC late last week concerning 14 missing black girls.
Starting from an Instagram post on Thursday and snowballing throughout the week, it was Black Twitter that brought attention to this serious matter. It’s no surprise to find out that the authorities care little about black people, but it’s always sad to see how that affects us.
Beyoncé’s mother, Tina Knowles Lawson, wrote on Instagram around the time, “It is a well known fact that a missing person of color Black, Latin or other do not get the media coverage equal to a missing white person …”
Our fearless FBI special operations agents are good at finding anything other than minorities. I wonder how 14 girls left no leads to follow but one shirt did.
8. Possum pouch people problem
To be real with you, I lol’ed when I saw this, like a real lol in real life. “buss the possum pwussy open” is comedy gold.
I only stopped when I remembered that Opossums are marsupials and carry their young in a pouch. It was still hilarious while the thought lingered in my head.
It would be wise for PETA to put some sort of disclaimer about touching dead animals. Or what if the possum wasn’t actually dead but taking a rest on the side of the road, and then you walk up and touch it, then it bites you and now you have rabies?
Looking in the comments, I found similar concerns, but one in particular stuck out. The hands opening that Opossum’s pouch are white, and people, black people in particular, connected this sort of behavior to white people.
I began to think “Is this a white person thing?” and “Should animal conservation and safety concern us?” There is no doubt that white people love their animals. But should we as Black people be as passionate about animals? The short answer I came up with is no. We have many other problems that concern us more directly and presently than the conservation of the Opossum population. Why it was brought up in the comments and why I’m bringing it up, is to simply say, white people have little to worry about so they can take risk touching dead animals. It’s also extremely funny when these two worlds clash, somebody who has little to care about, and somebody whose existence is barraged with problems. #dontgettickled