By Dale St. Marthe
1. Joe Budden Hates Happiness.
Yachty : I’m just happy to be alive
Joe budden: HAPPINESS AINT REAL HIP HOP pic.twitter.com/9KkIK3I0f5
— xavier (@xavierwss) May 3, 2017
This was a conversation for the ages. It’s a battle between the so-called “Old head” hip-hop, that N.W.A and Biggy lyrical stuff, versus new age hip-hop with “mumble rappers” such as Lil Yatchy and Lil Uzi Vert. And my…it was beautiful.
What made it so beautiful is the fact that Joe Budden is known for being an angry guy. So when he came on the online series Everyday Struggle he unleashed on special guest Lil Yatchy, who he had been actively bad-mouthing for the longest. I didn’t know a Black person could get so red, I thought he was about to headbutt Lil Yatchy with all that pressure in his head.
What Black twitter is talking about specifically in this extensive conversation was when Lil Yatchy said he was happy every day and that his “Life was moving in such a positive way.” Joe immediately called BS and went on a rant about how no one can be happy in the current state of the music industry. Could it be that he’s currently not poppin’?
The tea is steaming hot just saying.
2. Lavar Ball’s Overpriced Shoes
Lonzo Ball reveals his new shoe for $500 pic.twitter.com/0TH5o6j8YL
— Tom Brazy 🇭🇹 (@Chuck__Says) May 4, 2017
That’s my face whenever I try to buy some Jordans. I look at the price tag and start thinking “do I really need these? I ain’t even good at basketball…even Michael Jordan wouldn’t want me to buy these.”
The gag is that retired American football player Lavar Ball’s recently released shoes costing about $500 so all the young Black adults who usually go all out for Jordan’s will now be looking out for these. Now I’m not going to roast these shoes, because as an Urban Chameleon I know some of my Black peers will cop these instead of investing in a 401k. So called “sneaker-heads” and amateur basketball pros will try and buy these to stunt, they might even go all out and wait outside the shoe store. For me? I can buy like 3 pairs of Jordan’s anyway with $500 and fake it like I got money. You might even catch me buying some Vans on that white skater vibe on some two for one tip.
3. Melania’s Relationship May be Facing Hurdles…or Walls.
Every time Melania logs into twitter pic.twitter.com/fhwAY9tseX
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) May 3, 2017
These public figures gotta realize that nothing is private on social media. In the future when millennials grow up to be political figures, people are going to be digging up their tweets from 15 years ago. Everybody will see that tweet you posted in the middle of night talkin bout some “Popped a molly I’m sweatin’.” They’re going to see that and think you were really lifted off some drugs instead of reciting some song lyrics.
In this case, all Melania did was like a picture, but of course everything you like on twitter is viewable. It was quickly deleted but somebody snagged it before it was:
— lemonade heux 💋 (@jstcwarrior) May 3, 2017
Don’t mind Nicki she’s just off the molly as well.
I could imagine Melania looking over her mentions and seeing this post and thinking it was genuinely funny, and then liking it forgetting all about her position because she hardly seems to do much anyway. The power of the meme is so unprecedented that the first lady could not help but smash that like button.
4. Hi- C to be Removed From McDonald’s Selection
No. Hi-C been doing its job. What y’all NEED to replace is that broken ass ice cream machine. https://t.co/1LgyP7vzO7
— BEEZ (@bugattibeez) April 28, 2017
It feels just like it was yesterday that my elementary school peers would stuff Hi-C juice boxes into the cubbies of all the classroom desks. Now that they’re being taken away Black Twitter is feeling a little nostalgic.
And this tweet is dead right about the Ice Cream machine. Every time I want a simple chocolate milkshake from Mickey D’s, their Ice Cream machine is broken. Who’s back there abusing the Ice Cream machines? It must be a really complicated machine to be broken every time I come in.
5. Dear White People
— Kree (@AriesKree) April 28, 2017
That’s knowledge being burned into their brains through their retinas via the purifying flames of Director Justin Simien.
You know what’s so rich about the backlash Netflix’s newest series Dear White People got? It’s that all hate only made it more popular. White people thought they were doing something saying stuff like “Waaah what if there was a Dear Black People waaah.” The title is not even logically offensive. If it was called something like “Dear Honkey Pig People” then sure that could be considered bad.
I also love how they can’t knock the quality of the show. It earned a %100 rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Watching this show will keep you woke and entertained at the same time!
6. Miley Decides to Be White Again
This strap-on wearing, black ass slapping, singing “lick my p*ssy” on stage wants to pretend like Hip-Hop is too degrading for her? Lol https://t.co/JAFIYh41w0
— www.ruariam.com (@Ruariam) May 4, 2017
Miley…you can take several seats for this stunt.
For one, ever since you “twerked” (if you can even call it that) at the VMAs with your ironing board lookin butt, no one was checking for your opinion. She came on this Billboard interview this week saying she’s leaving hip-hop behind because “It was too much ‘Lamborghini, got my Rolex, got a girl on my cock’—I am so not that.” You’re right lil country girl you ain’t that! So why did you do it in the first place? See this that stuff I don’t like. She appropriated hip-hop culture so she can seem “cool,” and now she’s bashing it? And by the way, what rapper says “cock?” I’ve never heard a Black person say that word in my life.
I’m honestly not surprised; she wasn’t going to be associated with hip-hop culture, especially after Nicki called her out at the MTV Video Music Awards for making some disparaging comments after Nicki sent shots at Taylor Swift. The moment was gif-ed and memed to the ground.
That’s real hip-hop right there. Miley could not handle the heat.
7. Promoter Yes Julz Receives a No from Black Twitter
— Monique Judge (@thejournalista) May 5, 2017
— 6 TIME NATTY CHAMP (@tdouble_u) May 5, 2017
Speaking of young white women appropriating Black culture for the buzz, Yes Julz has built her career around it.
Along with everyone on Black Twitter saying “who the hell is this chick,” are the people asking “why would she even want to say that?” For someone who gets their living from promoting hip-hop concerts on Snapchat and staying socially conscious, how unconscious about Black culture could you be? Who is giving these white girls a pass?
niggas gave Yes Julz a pass to degrade them and probably still will because she’s white with a fat ass but that’s the sunken place for you
— mama africa (@thatgirlsalina) May 5, 2017
Aaahh yes now I see. Thank you Mama Africa. It happens all the time too. You’ll see it a lot as an Urban Chameleon. White girls will try to copy the Black girl swag, looking stupid while doing it, and it’s the coons who end up hyping them. Then the Black guys end up in the sunken place like in the movie Get Out, letting the white girl say nigga. That shirt is a No for Yes Julz.
8. The Met Gala
The administration now might be white but this year the Met Gala was definitely BLACK. Oh yes, the Met Gala used to be a place dominated by white celebrities. But now Black celebrities are really turning it up. Here are a few highlights from that day.
— swish (@yeezuzs) May 1, 2017
This was one of the funniest Met Gala related posts I saw. It looks like her arms are melded to her body. Is this a female Kool-Aid man costume? If this is art I can’t imagine what this is supposed to express.
“bring me the mote control” pic.twitter.com/ulm3t7ya83
— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) May 2, 2017
Now this right here is what I call swagger. What better way to show that you’re a boss than to recline on the Met Gala stairs like you own the place. He looks like a relaxed Black momma without the silk head wrap.
— Ira Madison III (@ira) May 1, 2017
Solange took a bubble jacket to another level. I mean it’s an actual bubble jacket with a train.
— Jaz (@MissJaz_) May 2, 2017
Lord Offset and Lady Cardi of House Migos accompanied by his cousin Lord Quavo of House Migos Warden of North Atlanta https://t.co/ayUVDZDT1b
— Unibrow Killa🇺🇸 (@KillaKam1947) May 2, 2017
You know an event is Black when even Cardi B is there.
— Michael Sentino (@MichaelSentino) May 1, 2017
A look of confusion mixed with shock was my reaction this photo as well. Don’t get me wrong, Jaden Smith’s outfit is on point, but he’s really doing the most with that bundle of hair in his hands. At first I thought it was some sort of dried grass associated with an African ritual. But no, it’s his old dreads he cut off. He explained later to Teen Vogue: “Since I couldn’t bring my sister as a date, I brought my old hair.” What an oddly simple answer from such a complicated kid. There is nothing really more to say here.